Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
