i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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