Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
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