Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
