Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
