ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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