Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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