The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
