used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There r osticjed everywhere
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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