well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
