Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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