my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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