What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
