Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
