Only a mothe r could love this liver
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
