Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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