so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
how does that bad decision feel?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
