your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
