You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
