I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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