the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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