Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
His nipple licking is glorious
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