Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
