my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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