why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My ass is underappreciated
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
