wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
