Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
