so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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