But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
