when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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