Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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