If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
