He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
