That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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