Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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