Is it because I queefed?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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