I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
