Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize