your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So squirting runs in the family.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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