FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
