so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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