last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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