I hate your face
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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