so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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