Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize