Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
