I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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