is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
