D3 body, D1 cock
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
mondays should just be called national damage control day
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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