think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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