I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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