Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
