I just made out with a guy for $7.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
