I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Randomize
