we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
