First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
