who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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