ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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