dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
