you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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