I molested 6 butterflies tonight
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
